A Picture is worth a Thousand Snowflakes

As I enter what will be my last week living in San Diego I look at the picture to the left and wonder what other people think of our decision to move to Bethel – now? So help me out. Do you think that we’re?
a) Crazy
b) Snow lovers
c) Sun sensitive
d) Adventurers
e) Other
Your answers will be collected and given to our therapist who will then recommend the appropriate treatment. I wish all you crazy adventurer’s out there a Happy New Year!

Desire Moves

I think life is as simple as this. We all move to what we desire most. Sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. The stronger we desire something or someone we focus more of our thoughts and actions toward that and our body and minds move in the direction of that desire. Sometimes or perhaps many times our actions may not seem to make rational sense that they will in fact lead us to the desired goal but in a magical and spiritual way they do.

Lauren and I are celebrating the achievement of a common (thank goodness) goal we’ve had for a few years. We just bought a house which we will soon call home in the area where we’ve been taking summer vacations beginning about five years ago. Bethel, Maine is a small and beautiful mountain village located in the western mountains of the State. We originally came upon it by accident as we searched for Kezar Lake and stayed for a few nights at the Sudbury Inn. It was love at first sight and since then we’ve been trying to figure out how we could buy a place and spend more time there. Originally we thought we would buy a place to spend summers and then rent the home in winter which is the busy season because of the great skiing they have at Sunday River and Mt. Abram. We looked at many homes in the area and made offers on a couple of places over the past two years but we either lost out or never came to an agreement. But desire moves in mysterious ways. Lauren noticed a new listing come up on the MLS in November which we both had never seen before. The location looked good, close to town like we wanted and the price looked really good.

We made an offer on the place even before we saw it. We flew out from San Diego within the week and after seeing the place adjusted our offer and finally came to an agreement with the sellers. The closing took place on December 11th, 2009 and now Lauren and I are preparing to pack up our apartment and move back east in the next few weeks.

Looking back on my first blog posting less than one year ago http://androscogginbloggin.blogspot.com/2009/01/page-one_18.html is yet more proof that desire moves.

We have a lot of work ahead of us. The place needs broken pipes fixed and then a new heating system put in and then the water turned on and then the list goes on….but all this will give me material to blog about. So stay tune for more stories about “This Old Old House” or “The Money Pit North”. These will be adventures and challenges and at times we’ll ask ourselves, did we desire this? And the answer is YES we did, this is how Desire Moves.

A TRIBUTE TO DAUGHTERS

I have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving weekend but one of the things that I’m most thankful for is my daughters.

Amber and Eva, they are beautiful in so many ways. What I’m thankful for is that at ages 26 and 22 they are both taking control of living their lives as they want to live them. Amber and Eva are very different even though they have the same parents and grew up in the same neighborhood. During those first few years of life Amber was the loud one and Eva was the quiet one but then it flip-flopped and Amber became the quiet one while Eva roared to life.

Amber was academic, organized, and diligently doing her homework saw mostly A’s on her report card. Her bedroom was a showpiece of neatness and order. Eva was social and it seemed to me that maybe she thought the purpose of school was to meet and talk with your friends. Her homework usually got lost under some mound of clothes on her bed or the floor.

As time went on the differences became clearer and I realized they were being true to themselves. Nowadays Amber will drive an hour to hear a poetry reading while Eva will travel to a local pub to belt out a song on Karaoke. Amber reads Edith Wharton while Eva listens to Lady GaGa.

Impossible as it is for me to be unbiased, let me say that Amber is a wonderful writer and poet. I hope she continues to write more. Amber who is very careful in her decision making process decided she wanted to move back to New England last May. So both her and her boyfriend Tommie quit their jobs in San Diego with no prospect of a job in their pockets and put themselves where they wanted to be. Amber has already said no to jobs that don’t match her desires. She’s picking, choosing and trying out things that interest her. Right now she’s working at a place where she meets with different artists every day. I know if these jobs don’t remain interesting and fun she’ll move on. I love that she’s making those scary and unknown choices and testing the world to see what’s best. I know she will find a very comfortable balance in her life.

Eva is a wonderful teacher and karaoke singer. For years she’s been known in the family as a kid magnet…they gravitate to her. Now she has her own preschool class of 3 to 5 year olds that she handles 5 days a week, 50 weeks a year. She does projects with the kids, she nurtures them, she loves them and they love her. Eva says she’s never going to leave San Diego. She loves the glitter, the glam, and the pop culture. She loves her gay neighborhood of Hillcrest with all it has to offer. She has good friends and good times. I’m thankful that she’s independent and in a good place in her life.

So there sisters….this blog’s for you. Keep following your dreams and desires.

Love,
Dad

The Big Butt Van: Bringing Neighbors Together One Last Time

Well there it is…the Big Butt Van mortally wounded, ready to exit our lives. She’s been a good van, a classic soccer mom van, a workhorse performing all sorts of hauling expeditions. Hauling Kayaks all over New England, kids to soccer games and cross country meets, work mates to Fenway Park, Amber’s stuff to and from Wheaton College each year and multiple furniture moves in San Diego. But at 5:15 am on October 10th her number came up. A driver who one may “presume” was DUI smashed the rear corner pushing it up over the curb of the sidewalk and plowing it into our neighbor’s bushes. As quickly as they hit it they managed to regain their bearings and take off before anyone had a chance to see their car.
Although the bang woke me up I didn’t recognize it as a crash like our neighbors above us did and who knocked on our door two minutes later and said “Pete…Lauren’s car was just hit and it’s bad.” After a quick survey we called 911 and our insurance company to get the ball rolling. The police officer who came out to inspect it was very nice. His name was Officer Troy Gess and my wife would best describe him as a “cutie-pa-tootie”. So naturally at the end of his investigation when he asked if we had any other questions, Lauren asked if he had any friends like him for her 22 year old daughter? She had already found out Troy was married.
As the sun began to brighten up the day and we waited for the tow truck to arrive neighbors began to appear. Many of these neighbors we have never met or said more than a passing hello during the 14 months we have lived here. Lauren was beginning to enjoy it. Meeting the neighbors. Friendly conversation. We first officially met Robert (and later his girlfriend Maya) who as a postman was leaving early for work but stopped to tell us he may have some video surveillance from his house to the street. That might be handy. We then met Erica and Alex and some of their kids. She’s from Barnstable, MA so she and Lauren could exchange some Mass stories. We met David who I think is retired and may be the longest living resident on the street. He was here before the street was paved and before it extended down the hill or what was a canyon. We spoke to Cathy and John who we had spoken to before. Occasionally we see John come out in a kilt with a set of bagpipes to play at some event. I met Rob and Becca and their two young kids. They’re Birders and were curious what the Mass Audubon sticker on the van was all about with its Kingfisher or Tern logo. We talked again to Danny, Ryan and Christine, a young group renting the house next door and sort of like a Three’s Company in reverse. Danny and Ryan both sell shoes at Niemen-Marcus; I’m not sure what Christine does. We met Gloria a talkative neighbor a few doors up who now works full time as a pet-sitter. She used to work for AT&T until that world changed. She also happens to be house watching for Jose and Nancy who own the house next door which was the ending spot for the front end of the van as it sat not-so-gracefully lodged in their front bushes. They happen to be in Spain for a while. I think the final neighbor we met was Christy who I would say slept late and was calling the police around 11:00 AM to report a car in the neighbor’s bushes. Her dad use to play for the Baltimore Orioles.
The moral of the story should be obvious…if you want to meet your neighbors plan something dramatic to happen in your neighborhood. It’s a guarantee they’ll come out and say hello.

So Tomorrow October Begins

Let’s see…the first day of autumn was eight days ago and it’s October 1st tomorrow. There’s not much here that’s tipping me off to this change of season. Sure the days are shorter now than they were in mid-summer and the shadows cast during the day are longer but it’s a comfortable 73 degrees right now at 11:30 AM and nothing around here is changing color. I know in my mind that the maple trees of New England should be beginning to turn all shades of red, yellow and orange, crimson and vibrant, a regular palette of beautiful shades that even the most color blind of us has to notice. Next weekend bus loads of Leaf-peepers will be all over the country side in Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont and Western Massachusetts for the Columbus Day weekend. This is usually considered the peak week for this area and the annual tradition of color lovers driving around taking pictures of yet another beautiful scene is unstoppable. And why not, it is breathtakingly beautiful.
Many years ago when Lauren and I first met we decided to just hop in the car and drive through New Hampshire to Vermont to leaf peep and find a place to stay for the night. The colors were wonderful, we were still a new couple, and everything was going perfect until we tried to find a place to stay for the night. There wasn’t a single hotel room available in the whole State of Vermont. We called up the State Chamber of Commerce or something like that and they said the only thing available was rooms’ people were renting out in their house. Not wanting to leave we decided to call on one of these people nearby. They had a bedroom available and would even feed us breakfast in the morning. We arrived to a perfectly nice, clean, and well kept ranch style home. The Mrs. showed us our bedroom which was cleaner than most of the rooms I slept in during my life. The problem was it was just too personal. We were across the three foot wide hallway from their bedroom door and the house was really quiet and well…we kind of wanted to make some noise. Did I mention we were a new couple, before kids? We made it through the night okay and had a wonderful pancake and bacon breakfast the next morning. We bid our host farewell hoping we could somehow find a more private place to lodge this next evening. We spent the day driving, eating, and photo-shooting and as dusk began to near we turned our search for a new bed to sleep in. Many places we did try and many places said goodbye. Sometime around 7 to 8 pm we stopped at an Inn somewhere to try one last place. It was a Victorian style home and the host who had been playing an old upright piano gave us a hearty greeting. I remember him laughing when we asked the question. We sensed he wished he did have the room. He offered us a glass of wine which we accepted and we sat on the couch in his lobby while he played the piano and I could tell Lauren was really enjoying it. We were probably sitting there for 15 minutes listening to the music when another older gentleman stepped inside the front door to ask to be laughed at. The host, whose back was turned away from us, didn’t immediately stop playing the piano although I’m sure he knew this person had entered because we had greeted each other. Instead he kept playing…and at a point where it sounded like he may stop…he didn’t…he moved right into another verse or stanza or whatever you call it. The gentleman at the door was a very patient person…standing…listening…waiting. The wine and atmosphere had Lauren in good spirits and when the host lit into another song instead of turning around to acknowledge the gentleman at the door this struck her as funny and she let out a loud chuckle. The scene was funny and sort of reminded me of the old Bob Newhart show for those of you old enough to remember that.
The host finally stopped and informed the patient gentleman that he too was out of luck and offered him a drink but the gentleman needed to move on and find his resting place. The host said to us…Don’t you know anybody who lives in Vermont? It got me thinking that in fact I did know someone. About two years earlier I had been fishing on a scallop boat based out of New London, CT and the oldest guy on the boat was our chief engineer who we affectionately referred to as “Chiefy”. He was a family guy working on a boat with a bunch of mostly young and single guys like me. He would often talk about his house in Bethel, Vermont and what he was working on and how much he loved it. So I relayed my story to the host who said well call him…what do you have to lose? After getting his number from information I called and was greeted by his wife who I had never met or spoken with before. I explained our predicament and was hoping Chiefy might be able to help a fishing buddy. She told me that he was not there and in fact was out fishing but to drive on over because she had a place we could stay for the night in their house. We had successfully found a place to stay for the night and bid the host of the Inn a fond farewell. We met Chiefy’s wife and family, had a comfortable place to sleep, got to see the house he so fondly spoke of and had a nice breakfast the next morning. I sent Chiefy a thank you letter the next week but never had any more contact with him. Life works like this I’ve realized. For now I’ll look out over the cactus plants off my deck and dream of the colors I’m missing right now back east. I’ll probably dig up some old photos, browse through some Down East and Yankee magazines and imagine I am there.

YOUR WIFE CAN CHANGE

Sometimes or most times I think people won’t really change much. I mean when you describe a character you’re describing what that person looks like, says and does most every day of their life. Most democrats will remain democrats (with the exception of Joe Lieberman) and republicans will remain republicans. Those who regularly watch Glenn Beck on Fox will likely agree with him and think he is so right and those who watch Countdown with Keith Olbermann on MSNBC will likely agree with him and think he is so left. You can TRY to change the opinion or habit of someone else but it’s not likely an easy or possible thing to achieve.
I tend to accept others (those who don’t view the world like me) “as is”. If they think Obama is ruining the nation I know I am not going to get them to think otherwise. If I point out that the report card on George W. Bush for the past 8 years looks like the typewriter got stuck of the letter F and that the first big government bailouts a.k.a. the TARP monies were conceived by and given out by the Bush administration because the system in place had failed so badly, well I would likely get an answer like the one I received a month ago… “George W. Bush was never really a Republican, he was just a Democrat on the Republican ticket.” Once you realize the person who said this actually means it you know that there is a screw loose and you need to a) change the topic, b) avoid that person, or c) laugh and have a beer. I believe I chose all three options that night.Back to my main point…although it’s not usual to see someone change their beliefs or habits, every now and then it does happen. Case in point; my wife. Lauren has many, many wonderful traits like patience (mostly with me), she’s a good cook, caring mother and although I know she would appreciate a complete listing here, I’m stopping just to mention that she has never really ever been “into” sports. You know football, baseball, who’s who, how many games are the Red Sox behind the Yankees in the American League East (7.5) or why is a field goal sometimes worth 3 points and at other times only 1 point? Now to be fair…I’m not a big who’s who guy in sports like many of my male counterparts, but I do enjoy watching a ballgame every now and then. So “knowing” she would rather watch the latest episode on HGTV I was surprised when I walked into our bedroom last Thursday to find her watching the Pittsburgh/Tennessee game and further amazed when she was cheering the Steelers as they were marching down the field in the last two minutes of the game and then moaning as they fumbled a turnover with only 63 seconds left? What is going on here? This is so unlike her? Fast forward to today, Sunday September 13th, 2009 and we just came back home from shopping at the Farmer’s Market in Hillcrest and Lauren flips on the TV to… the football games? She was actually bummed that the Redskins were behind the Giants 0-17 in the 2nd Quarter? I’m at the computer and turn around to look…..who is this woman? 28 years of marriage and she’s never been so interested in football. Does she have a new boyfriend who loves football? Nope…Well, I don’t think so anyway. The answer is she joined a football pool at her office for $2.00 to pick the winners of all the games for this week (She thought this list was for the whole season originally). She likes to win and she would get a big thrill in beating most of the “the guys” in her office because they know football and she doesn’t and I get that. It just seems so weird to see Lauren on the couch with her list, pen and yellow highlighter in hand watching the games. The Packers are playing the Bears right now and if Green Bay beats Chicago she’ll be 7 wins and 7 losses, so 50%. What’s next…will she be drinking Bud Light? Your wife can change.

The Last Days of Summer 2009

Here it is the last Friday in August and the summer of 2009 is nearing a close. We’re having record breaking heat here in San Diego where it’s 97 degrees at the coast and if you go inland you can find your way to 120 degrees, that is if you can make it that far before shriveling up to something resembling a Fig Newton. According to the weather map my sister Anna is enjoying a nice sunny 66 degree day back in Cape Elizabeth (Portland) Maine. Speaking of Maine I feel the need to recap our wonderful 3 week vacation back in New England. It was glorious. The weather was perfect, even the small amount of rain we had which Lauren and I had been missing. We got to hang out with Amber, Tommie, Maya and the Bo and the Dee (Lauren’s parents) for a while in Magnolia. One of the first orders of business was to EAT LOBSTER! We succeeded by hooking up with local Gloucester Lobsterman Chuck Parisi at his boat just as he came in after hauling his traps. We bought ten alive and kick’ in beauties, rushed them home and popped them in the pot. Mmmm….two lobsters each with melted butter, corn of the cob and some Ipswich Ale IPA….I was in heaven. We took a few sunset walks around Shore Road. I walked up to Dunkin Donuts every morning for a cup of coffee and kept running into people I haven’t seen for years and we just picked up where we left off. We saw our dear friends Doug and Ellen Guidry, had a cookout and sang songs around a wood fire accompanied by guitar, mandolin, a newly Doug-built washtub string base and a “boom-box” instrument that Jonathan Phalen’s dad bought about 20 years ago at FAO Schwartz. We went swimming at Black Beach at low tide, caught crabs and dug clams out of the sand for fun and then let them go and we went swimming at Half Moon Beach. Lauren went out with her friends sometimes while I just went out with Amber and Tommie or just met the locals. We walked in Ravenswood Park. We danced at the Cruise port Terminal on a Tuesday night with a cast of many friends and even an old flame of Lauren’s to the music of Bob Cooney and Mike McNair…..Aimee…what you going to do?.....I think…I could stay with you….for a while maybe longer…if I dooo…..
The next phase of the trip was to head Down East to the easternmost point in the United States…Lubec, Maine where my youngest brother, Basil III was getting married to Kelly. This was a good time to see and hang out with a large chunk of my family all at once. In addition to seeing my mother, brother, sisters and all my beautiful nieces and nephews I was able to spend time with my Aunt Helen and Cousin Susan. It was the first time I had seen Helen since my Uncle Don had passed away last December. The day before the wedding Helen, Susan, Tommie, Maya, Lauren and myself went over to Campobello Island, Canada and took a tour of Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s summer home, inspected the beauty of the island and yes, ate more seafood. At the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding there was yet another campfire where many of us older adults sang impromptu campfire songs and show tunes while the kids ran around the field chasing and scaring each other in the dark. The wedding went off with the appropriate “hitch”. Have a blast Basil and Kelly and thanks for everything.
Now we were heading to the mountains of Maine near the New Hampshire border and there are no quick and easy roads that go east and west in Maine, but that’s okay because I’m on vacation and I do not want quick or even easy. I love the curvy, windy, wooded two lane road and if it’s dirt, all the better. Our first stop though was to stop in and visit my sister Lily and the army of Deans. They live in Orono near Bangor which is on the way westward. My sister Lily and her husband Artie are a prolific couple and have 9 children. When we arrived they were all there and so we were lucky enough to see everyone and spend a couple of hours together. It was short but so sweet. Lily’s kids are so well mannered it scares me. I would joke with Amber and Eva occasionally that we should have shipped them up to spend a summer with Lily. The kids offered and brought us out coffee, tea and water. I was able to order a special espresso with mine. Then they just hung out while we sat in the garden they built for Lily while she was recovering from her breast cancer. They participated in our conversation right down to the youngest. Some are talented musicians, others like art, all of them are loving.
Later that night we made it to our destination of Bethel, Maine. Not that long ago my Aunt Helen informed me that this was where Uncle Don’s mother grew up as a child. We rented a nice house in the village after spending the first night in a B&B. Lauren went swimming in Howard Pond, we had chicken fried steak at the Funky Red Barn and because Lauren was worn out I went by myself to “Hoot-Nite” at Suds Pub where every Thursday the local talent plays live music and yes the locals are talented. On another fine evening we had some Korean Food at Cho-Sun with our friends Cynthia and Paul Handlen. We took in the pace of Bethel which is mellow and slow. How slow? Well one morning I went to talk a walk down by the Androscoggin River and as I was headed down Main Street Paul Handlen noticed me and stopped his jeep in the middle of the street while we chatted for a minute or so. No worries, no traffic, no rush....when I compare that scene with what happens when I head out around here in San Diego I realize I am at the very opposite end of the spectrum.
After five nights in Bethel we stopped in to visit my brother Erik and Amy, Logan and Rachel. They bought a house last year in Saco, Maine and it’s a really nice home in a really nice neighborhood. I’m happy for them. This too was too short a visit. We then made it back to Gloucester that night so that early the next morning Amber, Tommie and me could help out long time friend and coach J.D. MacEachern in the first ever Gloucester Triathlon. Our job was to help direct runners at a critical intersection where on the first lap they had to take a left and on the second lap they had to go straight to the finish line. Because faster athletes tend to pass the slower ones some runners at this point would need to go different directions and despite our bullhorn instructions, signs, flags and others yelling out the same instruction we realized many of these participants were in pain. They had already swum 1/3 mile in the harbor, biked 15 miles and were now finishing up a 2.9 mile run. I’m sure their bodies were trying to pump as much oxygen to their leg muscles and all their ears could hear was…wha,wha,wha,wha,left,,,wha,wha,wha,straight. So a few went straight when they should have gone left but overall it went well. I can’t recall how many times we met up with friends and acquaintances or how much seafood we ate on this vacation but I can tell you it was all good and on the one to ten scale of enjoyment this summer vacation of 2009 was voted a big 10 by both judges.